begging time to slow down

inspired by a pic I saw of my dog

Since I was little, I’ve always been eager for the next season of life. I have a sneaky suspicion that that eagerness was the byproduct of being the youngest - always feeling the need to keep up with the older kids. Growing up, it felt like the days moved so slow. The weeks felt entirely too long. And when the year was over, it felt like a big sigh of relief. Finally …. one step closer to being double digits. One step closer to high school. One step closer to driving. One step closer to college. One step closer to marriage …

And here I am. Way past double digits, high school is long gone, many driving miles under my belt, college in my wake, and a ring on my finger. All in what now feels like a blink.

That eagerness to always be a step ahead of the season where I was has now been exchanged for a deepening desire for time to slow down. In the rushing and yearning, I missed the full picture. As the years were going by fast, I was getting older. My parents were getting older. My dogs got older. My childhood slipping away day by day. As I was rushing ahead, I missed the fullness of where I was.

This moment of reflection was inspired by my family group chat today (well really a week ago because I procrastinated to post this🙃). My brother sent a photo of our family dog sitting on his office chair (looking like the absolute queen she is- photo evidence below). Of course everyone immediately sends messages of how much we love her blah blah blah. But … it dawned on me. She’s turning EIGHT this month. The dog that we got when I left for college is now turning eight. In that moment, I realized my increasing desire to undue the relationship with time that I unknowingly created at such a young age. I want to savor and soak up every day, every moment, every week, every month, every year with the people in front of me. I want time to sloooooow. I want to never stop feeling like a kid.

xx Blake <3