Feeling humbled: ✈️ thoughts

Recent learnings & discoveries

I begin every substack with some form of

“Hello, it’s been a while, but I’m back, and I’m going to try to insert more consistency into my life in regards to this *blog*”

But the truth is, I don’t want to force a weekly post on here if that’s not where I’m at. I want to share authentically out of the overflow of experiences going on in my life & lessons being learned & memories being made.

So hi, it’s been a while. I’m not sure when I’ll write again but today, I have thoughts I’d like to share with you.

I am currently on a plane heading back to Florida. My eyes are slowly shutting as I type this: mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted coming off of a week in Chapelton, Jamaica. But a heart that feels quite grateful for the people I got to spend time with, the kids I got to work with, and the place I got to see (exactly one year later).

I learned a lot this trip. More than I expected to go in and learn. I’ve never had a mission trip stretch me in the ways this one did. I’m not exactly sure the answer to why that was the case but I believe God knew my heart needed to be humbled in learning a few important lessons this trip:

Serving isn’t glamorous & it’s not for us.

To be extremely honest- I went into this trip with high expectations for how this trip would make me feel. Maybe that was because last time I left on a high high high or because there are some work things I’m praying through in regards to this ministry / place. Who knows. The point is- God stripped that quickly.

I found myself surrounded by hundreds of kids - 3-18 years old. Some well behaved. Many not. No ac. Long and exhausting days. I am setting the scene.

My head hit the pillow that first day and I thought to myself “I’ve been on these trips so many times but I’m not sure if I have it in me to make it through this one” (I was being dramatic but it’s where I was at)

What was different this time?

My heart posture.

That first day was not only breaking me physically but it was breaking my expectations. God was reminding me the true intent of serving. Not for us. But for him. It’s not glamorous. It’s not effortless. It takes something from us to give to something or someone else.

I do believe serving changes us. It changes our hearts and the way we see people and the world and God. But I found myself so caught up in what it would do for me- how it would make me feel, etc. that I lost the true heart of service.

I sat at the end of the first day of camp, with a child sitting on my lap, hitting me, scratching me, pulling my hair. I looked out into the distance (surrendering to the ferocious desires of said child) and asked God “why do you have me here?”

Very quickly I felt God remind me that

1. service isn’t glamorous

2. and it’s not for us

3. and we can’t do it without His strength, His joy, His patience, His kindness and His love.

I am grateful for the past week. I am grateful to be stripped back in ways I didn’t even know I needed to be. I am grateful that we don’t have to go thousands of miles away to serve. But we can serve one another and our community right where we are at.

I’m usually an aisle row girl (small bladder) but this flight I find myself perched right up against the window. So I’m going to go back to staring out at the clouds hoping that maybe once we get to Heaven we will have the ability to jump from cloud to cloud. 🤞 lol

The best is very much so indeed coming .. Heaven !!!

Xx,

Blake